Friday, August 20, 2010

on saying Goodbye

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.  ~ From a headstone in Ireland

I know I've been away for a while. Everything on my normal routine for the past 2 years were shaken because of a phone call that I received last July 24. I can still remember it so vividly, we just got home after having Friday night dinner at Hooters and catching Angelina's latest flick, Salt when my Nanay called me. She was apparently been calling for more than 2 hours but I'm oblivious since we're busy with the movie.

I asked what's wrong because I know her voice when she's crying. She told me something bad happen to Lola. Our Lola cute, her mom. Lola suffered a heart attack while she's admitted at the hospital for pneumonia. I can't believe it. I asked how it happened and she narrated how it went. I know that Lola was admitted at the hospital the week before. I've seen and spoke to her (Lola) the Saturday before that through Skype. I asked her how she was, she said she's not that great. She's having a hard time with her coughing because of pneumonia. She said she's taking antibiotics and will be back to the hospital for a check-up that coming week. I was then told that she was admitted Thursday that week.

The heart attack was quick and near fatal. I was told that she was revived after 25 minutes and sent to Intensive Care. Her doctors made it very clear that her chance of survival was very slim. They only gave her 5%. Nanay told me that we should prepare ourselves for anything, but still we all hoped. Lola actually woke up the following day, she was able to wiggle her toes and fingers. She even nods and understand when spoken to. So we all thought that maybe it would get better. We hoped and prayed hard. But God had different plans, another heart attack happened and that time she's too weak to fight.

It was just so sad on my part since I didn't get to see Lola before she passed. I could have been able to say my goodbyes. The next couple of days had been hard. Returning back to Manila is bittersweet. I had to brace myself for what was in store for the next couple of days. I'm happy to be able to see my family again yet so sad to return home under the circumstances.

Lola, I pray that you're happy wherever you are. We miss you so much. The most simple things remind us of you. I know you're not ready to go when you did but I pray that you'll find the peace that we all want for you. Please say hi to Ate Malou for us, I know you're together now. We love you 'La and Happy 73rd Birthday.



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